An Open Letter to My Husband on Our Anniversary

Love,

Happy anniversary! I am very proud that I remembered this one without a text from your mother, like last year. I wish we could spend the day together, but then again, it’s really not that important. I love every day with you, whether it is a “special” day on the calendar or not.

Three years married today, four years together. I cannot believe everything we have done in that time: lived in five different states, traveled to so many more, had a kid, changed both of our careers, started a nomadic life. It has most definitely not been boring!

When we met, I was not sure I was ready to be serious with anyone. I liked you because you were fun. Life with you was fun and exciting, and we never sat still (we still don’t!). And then you got serious, which scared me. I wasn’t sure I was ready for that. But I wasn’t ready to let you go.

I fell in love with your spirit. Your smile and energy were infectious. You made things happen, things I would wonder about and daydream of and plan, but never actually do. Because of you, I actually did them. We spent fifty days on the road that summer because I dreamed it and you pushed it. Funny, I don’t think I actually invited you along, just told you about and suddenly there you were, looking at maps and planning routes and making endless lists of stuff to take with us.

Life changed for me with you. I was so focused on my career, so focused on what I would do in the future that I didn’t exist in now. That had already started to shift after my dad had died, but you added another catalyst. You were so focused on now, you pulled me into the present. And since it was where you were, it was where I wanted to be.

The other day, I remembered a conversation I had had with someone in my past. I had told them that I didn’t want to get married until I was done growing as an individual. I thought that you could focus on your own growth until you got married, and then you grew as a couple or a family, but that the individual wasn’t the focus. I was right about that, the individual was no longer the focus, but I was wrong about growth. You push me, you help me grow in ways that I couldn’t do on my own. You push me to actually do the things I dream about and force me out of my comfort zone. It hasn’t always been easy and I haven’t always done it gracefully, but I make it to the other side. You help me become that person that has always been there, but was held back by fear.

Our life is crazy. It is always busy, always changing, always something new. Routine does not exist for long. I love it, every day of it, if not every moment of it.

My life would be unrecognizable without you.

Today, as I should every day (and hope I do enough), I want to tell you how much I love you. You do so much for our family, for our dreams, to take us down this crazy road (sometimes, quite literally). I love you, I love our family, I love our life. I love our own unique brand of crazy! I’m so excited to see where the years take us, and so lucky to spend them with you.

All my love. Happy anniversary!

 

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